Stumbling
by Barbie Shoes
Summary: "Emma didn't like the way these people were looking at her, they way they seemed to want to reach out and touch her, like she was some sort of messiah who could turn water into wine. She just wanted to be the sheriff. She just wanted to find Regina." Prequel to my first story, 'Gray Areas', but can be read as stand alone. Swan Queen.


_A/N: Here is the prequel to my first story, _Gray Areas_. If you haven't read that one, please go check it out too! I think they can really be read in either order, or as stand alones if you wish, but they do go together. I cannot believe how quickly I cranked this out. I literally sat down and wrote the bulk of it in one 5 hour chunk. That has happened approximately never before. It's also about twice as long as _Gray Areas_; it kind of took on a life of it's own, but hopefully that's a good thing!_

_Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed _Gray Areas_! I try and reply to all reviews, but there were a lot of unsigned so here's a thank you to all past and future unsigned reviewers! Oh, and thanks to whoever posted a link to the story on tumblr. I don't actually have a tumblr yet, but I do creep around, and it made me very excited to see it on there!_

_As always, a big thanks to **Sapphonest** for previewing this story for me! I'd probably be too scared to ever post anything without her seal of approval to encourage me._

* * *

Emma wished she could say that watching an opaque cloud of purple smoke engulfing Storybrooke was the craziest thing she'd ever seen in her life. Hell, she wished she could say it was the craziest thing she'd seen all day; but she'd already slain an honest-to-god fire breathing dragon, and saved her son's life with a magic kiss, which had also broken an actual curse. At this point, purple smoke didn't seem nearly half as unfathomable as it had when she woke up this morning.

It was the uncertainty of what it could mean that had terrified her. At least when she was battling it out with the dragon, she knew her goal, knew what she had to do. Kill the dragon, retrieve the potion. Simple enough, all things considered. From this, however, she had no idea how to protect her son, or herself. She didn't even know if they needed protecting. She had held onto Henry tightly, unsure where they'd come out when the smoke cleared, or in what state.

The cloud dissipated, and everything looked alarmingly the same, save for the dumbstruck expressions of the citizens she could see on the street from the hospital window. It wasn't the same though, she could feel it; a shift in the air. Something was different.

Emma checked over Henry for any signs of damage, then herself. Finding none, she turned to the other occupants of the room.

"What the _hell_ was that?" she tried to keep her voice steady, but it came out sounding just as terrified as these people looked. They just stared at her, a few shaking their heads dumbly, and Emma realized they were waiting for _her_ to do something.

Right, she was still the White Knight. The job she'd never asked for, the role she never wanted. She just wanted to be the sheriff. That was something she knew how to be, something tangible. The sheriff would investigate a disturbance in the town. She could handle that. She would just keep being Sheriff, until she figured out what she was supposed to do next.

A light tug on the back of her coat pulled Emma out of her apprehensive daydreaming. She turned back to her son, noticing the hesitant expression on his face.

"What is it, kid?" she urged him gently. He eyed the room full of people warily.

"My mom," he mumbled quietly, making Emma lean down so she could hear. "She might know what that was."

He looked to the floor sheepishly, perhaps ashamed that he'd still referred to Regina as his mother, or perhaps for mentioning her at all. Not wanting the kid to feel guilty, Emma kissed his forehead reassuringly.

"That's a great idea, Henry," she praised. "I'll go find her. You'll be ok here on your own for a little while?"

Henry nodded with enthusiasm, seeming pleased to have helped. Regina was as good a place as any to start searching for answers. Emma only hoped she would be the first to think to go looking for her, a sick feeling twisting in her gut as it occurred to her what anyone else who sought out the woman might have in mind.

"I'll be right back," she proclaimed, the need to find Regina feeling suddenly quite urgent. As Emma went to leave, a tiny hand on her arm once again had her turning back to her son.

"Are they going to hurt her?" he asked. His terrified expression told Emma that Regina's parting words to the boy had been taken to heart.

"No," she told him confidently, turning to direct her next words to the room of people with a hardened tone. "_No one_ is going to touch her."

Faint nods of compliance were offered reluctantly. Emma gave her son's hand a final, comforting squeeze, and left.

Stepping out onto the busy sidewalk, it seemed everyone noticed her presence at once. Again, they stared at her, as if seeing her for the very first time, as if they finally knew exactly who she was. Which, Emma realized, they probably did. She couldn't deal with this right now; she didn't have time. She needed to find Regina. She tried to continue on with her mission undisturbed, but it became apparent that wasn't going to happen as the throng of people began gravitating toward her.

"Emma!" it was Ruby's voice that first called out to her. She only just saw the woman rushing at her before finding herself wrapped in a tight embrace. "You did it, Emma, you broke the curse! You saved us," Ruby sang, finally releasing her hold.

"I... I didn't really _do_ anything, Ruby," Emma protested, panicking as the crowd crept closer still, feeling like the walls were slowly closing in. She didn't like the way these people were looking at her, they way they seemed to want to reach out and touch her, like she was some sort of messiah who could turn water into wine. She just wanted to be the sheriff. She just wanted to find Regina.

"Don't be so modest," Ruby teased, swatting her arm playfully, and Emma forced a smile.

"What was that purple cloud?" A faceless voice cried out. All eyes turned to Emma expectantly.

"I don't know yet," Emma admitted. "But I'm going to find out, right now. If you'd all just excuse me-"

"How?" Ruby asked suspiciously.

Emma was reluctant to answer, but figured these people at least deserved the truth.

"I'm going to find Regina."

She felt the mood shift instantly. Low mummers began to rumble through the crowd, the bitter taste of hostility growing ever more potent in the air. Then the yelling started.

"That bitch can rot."

"No, she needs to pay!"

"Lock her up and throw away the key!"

"Lock her up? She should be sentenced to death!"

"Off with her head!"

"Rip out her heart as she's done to so many herself!"

The angry cries seemed to snowball off one another, each more hateful and violent than the last. Yes, Regina needed to answer for what she'd done, but not like this. Not at the hands of a raging mob, out for blood and vengeance. An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. Right?

"Stop!" Emma shouted as loud as she could above the cries. "Just stop it. No one is slaying the mayor. No one is even going to lay a finger on her, understood?" A few light protests sounded from the crowd, and Emma shot them down immediately. "You think she's evil? Fine. Be better than her. Go home, be with the people you love. Live your lives. But I will not allow anyone in this town to become a murderer. As long as we live in this world, I am still the sheriff, and I will not hesitate to throw _every last one_ of your asses in jail if you come _anywhere_ near her. Now, have I made myself clear?"

Emma could only hope the begrudging agreement she received in reply would suffice, and she wouldn't have to make good on her threat.

"Are you sure going to see her alone is a good idea?" Ruby asked as the crowd began to disburse.

"I've dealt with Madame Mayor before," Emma replied shortly.

"But not the Evil Queen," Ruby countered.

"Tomato, tomotto," Emma muttered, pushing her way past her friend and the remaining citizens in the direction of the Mills' mansion.

She breathed a small sigh of relief as the property came into view, seemingly undisturbed. She thanked whatever powers that be that she'd made it here without any further interruption, particularly that she hadn't run into Mary Margaret or even David. Of course she wanted to meet her parents; she'd been dreaming of such a moment for her entire life. It was never like this, though. She never could have envisioned this in her most elaborate reunion fantasies. She wasn't ready yet.

Besides, she thought, now making her way up the walk, they would certainly have less than approving things to say about her current destination. Being that they were her _parents_, she figured she would likely get a lecture, at the end of which they might convince her to just forget about it and come home. They wouldn't understand that she needed to do this. She needed to get answers. Even more, though, she needed to make sure Regina was okay.

The latter part, Emma was sure, they most certainly wouldn't understand. She barely understood it herself. Still, she raised her fist to the looming door and knocked.

It swung open to reveal Regina, looking as pristine and rigid as ever, save for the puffiness of her eyes that said she'd been crying. Emma couldn't help the sorrowful expression that settled on her own face at the realization. Regina noticed immediately, her features contorting into a disgusted snarl. Emma should have known this woman wouldn't appreciate pity.

"What are _you_ doing here," she barked coldly.

"I need to talk to you," Emma replied, trying to look as nonthreatening as possible. Not that she figured the mayor actually saw her as any kind of threat.

Regina eyed her suspiciously for a long moment, until Emma began to shift uncomfortably under the scrutiny. This seemed to satisfy her, though, and she moved aside to allow Emma into the foyer.

As the door was closed, Emma noticed Regina took care to lock it. If the woman was at all afraid, that was the only indication. Awkward silence descended over them. After the day she'd had, Emma wasn't used to this kind of quiet. Despite the tension, she found being here in the mayor's home to be oddly soothing.

She suddenly felt tired, the adrenaline that had kept her going finally beginning to wane with the knowledge that Regina was unharmed and, for the moment, safe. An expectant look shot her way had Emma grappling for something to fill the silence.

"The townspeople are out for blood," she finally spoke, opting to forego small talk. "Your blood, more specifically."

Regina just nodded. "I figured as much."

"I think they're still preoccupied with the curse breaking, and whatever the hell that purple smoke was," Emma continued. "I managed to persuade them not to do anything, for now."

"Why would you stop them?" Regina asked, looking genuinely perplexed.

"Because I said I would." Brown eyes narrowed even more in confusion. "After I dragged your ungrateful ass out of that fire, I told you I would always do the same thing. Because it's the _right_ thing to do."

Regina nodded at that, her mouth forming a silent 'aha'.

"How very noble of you, Sheriff," she mocked, making Emma feel that familiar itch that told her that her blood was on the verge of boiling.

"Well, I can't hold them off forever," she spat, wanting to see some trace of fear, some human emotion in the other woman's eyes. "They'll come after you eventually."

Regina just smiled wickedly.

"I'd like to see them try," she said, holding up her hands. Emma watched in fascination as a purple haze began to emanate from her fingertips, filled with what looked like a miniature lightning storm. Regina snapped her hands into fists as if to catch it, and then it was gone.

"You have magic," Emma proclaimed breathlessly, suddenly understanding exactly what the change she'd felt was when the smoke had cleared. She wasn't sure if she should be relieved to know that Regina had this weapon of defense in her pocket, or terrified at what other uses she had in mind for it.

Regina's smile turned triumphant, then vanished completely.

"Where is Henry?" she demanded. There was that itch again; Emma could feel her temperature rising.

"He's at the _hospital_, Regina," Emma growled. "He almost _died_ today, incase you forgot. After that, he's coming home — with _me_."

There was a flash of pain in Regina's eyes, but it was quickly banished.

"So, you've finally succeeded in ripping him away from me," she accused, plastering on the fakest smile Emma had seen since they day she became Sheriff. "Congratulations, Miss Swan. It would appear that you've won the war."

Emma couldn't take anymore of the feigned indifference, the condescending tone, or accusing words. She reached the boiling point and she snapped, pinning Regina firmly to the wall, with only slightly less aggression than previously.

"Picking up where you left off, dear?" Regina appeared unphased. She actually seemed amused by this turn of events. "Or perhaps you just _enjoy_ having me pressed up against the wall?"

"_You_ cursed an entire land of people," Emma spat with every ounce of venom she had within her. "_You_ are the reason I grew up without a family. _You_ tried to poison me, and _you_ almost _killed_ our son. Don't you _dare_ try and make me the bad guy here. I didn't steal Henry from you. _You_ lost him because of what _you_ did."

There it was — the human emotion she had been seeking in the mayor's eyes. Too much of it, making Emma almost regret her outburst, even if every word of it had been the truth. The smirk was gone, and Regina slumped dejectedly against the wall. She just stared at Emma pitifully for several long, unnerving moments.

"Did you mean it?" Regina finally whispered.

Emma kept her expression hard. "Mean _what_?" she asked harshly.

"That the only reason I was still alive was because you needed me," Regina clarified. "To save Henry."

Emma loosened her grip slightly, thrown by the question. She shook her head.

"I don't know."

"If he... If Henry had..." Regina sighed, unable to say the word. "Would you really have killed me?"

Emma pushed her back harder into the wall.

"Damn it, Regina! I said I don't know!" she shouted in her face, flustered by her own uncertainty of her feelings toward this woman. Regina cringed slightly, but made no other move to retaliate.

"I do love him, Emma." Her voice sounded pleading, the way it had at the hospital just before she'd run for cover. "I never meant to hurt him. I wouldn't. I didn't think I could love, but Henry — he taught me how."

"You didn't think trying to _kill me_ might hurt him?" Emma scoffed.

"It wasn't supposed to kill you!" Regina's voice now escalated in volume as well. "It was supposed to put you to _sleep_."

"An eternal sleep. Complete with nightmares," Emma countered. "I fail to see the difference, _Your Majesty_."

Now Regina shook her head. "I thought I could wake you up." She rolled her eyes, as if chastising herself for being so foolish. "You're everywhere, all the time. I needed time with Henry, time to think. I thought, when I was ready, I would find a way. I thought I could bring you back."

It dawned on Emma then that underneath the facade, underneath this ruthless corruption, Regina was nothing more than a scared little girl, lashing out to protect herself in the only way she knew how. Could she really say she'd never done the same? Emma had been ruthless before. She'd had to be. There wasn't always time to think about the consequences when you were fighting for your life, or even your love.

She told her mind to stop trying to justify this woman's actions. What Regina had done was wrong; so many things she'd done we're so incredibly, unfathomably wrong. Underneath the Evil Queen, though, underneath the woman who had committed all of these heinous acts, there was just Regina. The same Regina she had always known, the Regina she had come to desire in a way that, until now, she had been unable to name.

Emma tried to stay angry, but all she could feel was empathy for that woman.

"You weren't trying to kill me," she finally reiterated softly, the compassion leaking through her voice.

Regina shook her head, her sad eyes never breaking contact. Emma felt her temperature rising again, but she wasn't angry this time. She sighed weakly.

"Damn it, Regina," Emma muttered to herself, just before slamming their lips together.

She kissed the mayor hard; aggressively, but without pain. Hands tangled in her blonde hair, and Emma felt she'd forgotten how to breathe as Regina began to kiss her back. Certain her legs would give out beneath her when a forceful tongue pushed its way into her mouth, she pressed her body closer to the woman against the wall, as much in an attempt to stay standing as to feel those curves on her own.

Of all the pure insanity she'd encountered today, Emma thought this might take the cake. Yet, at the same time, it felt like the only thing that had made any sense at all since the moment Henry had bitten into that apple turnover.

Before she could analyze any further, Emma found herself being blown backwards, with more force than that of a simple shove. She glided as if on wheels, expecting to fall down at any moment. Instead, she came to an abrupt halt — several feet from Regina, but still upright — feeling as though she'd collided with something soft, though there was nothing behind her.

Gathering her bearings, Emma saw the last bits of hazy purple as it faded from Regina's fingertips.

"Did you just use magic on me?" Emma asked incredulously. The question was rhetorical, as the answer was obvious. It occurred to Emma that Regina could have used this tactic at any point while she'd been pinned to the wall, and yet, she hadn't done so.

"Miss Swan," Regina's tone was firm, but her voice was breathless. "This is _entirely_ inappropriate."

"You're right," Emma gasped, running a hand through her own hair. "Shit, you're so right. That just crossed so many lines. Professionally, and as Henry's... Moms? Not to mention between, you know..."

Regina raised an eyebrow. "Good and Evil?"

Emma shrugged, bobbing her head noncommittally.

"I don't even know who I am anymore," she confessed quietly, with a bitter chuckle. "I just wanted... I needed to feel... I don't know. I'll just go. I'm sorry."

She hadn't even had time to turn around before Regina was on her again, grabbing her face and crushing their mouths back together. Emma knew she shouldn't be doing this. She knew she was supposed to end it right here, walk out the door and pretend it never happened. She couldn't, though. The world had been turned upside down, and kissing Regina felt so right when everything else around her seemed so wrong. She couldn't stop it. She didn't want to.

Regina eased back for just a moment, and Emma stared at her with those big, bewildered eyes, trying to catch her breath.

"I thought you just said..."

"I highly doubt this town is going to sit back and allow me to keep my position as mayor," Regina explained, somewhat curtly. "Or that I'll be granted any parental rights to Henry anytime soon. As for the rest, I don't care. I have nothing left, Miss Swan. To hell with 'appropriate'."

That was sound enough reasoning for Emma right now, though really the need for logic was long gone. She looked into dark brown eyes, then down to those deliciously plump lips, and kissed them again. Regina kissed her back even harder, her desperation apparent in every nip and lick.

Fingers ghosted down Emma's neck, making her shiver at the sensation, then even more so as they dipped under her jacket collar. Regina's hands ran over her shoulders and down her arms, the red leather following suit until it fell to the floor with a soft thud.

If she hadn't known at that moment that this would go beyond just kissing, she would have in the next as her black tank top was lifted up and over her head, ripped from her body in one smooth motion. Regina seemed to want to devour her whole, and Emma wanted nothing more than to let her.

She undid the buttons of Regina's blazer, followed by those of her vest, before finally getting to the ones on her shirt.

"Really? With all the buttons?" Emma whined in frustration. "What are you on lock down or something?"

Regina slapped her hands away, deftly undoing the remaining closures and tossing the garment aside.

"You weren't exactly at the top of my 'to-_do_' list whilst I was dressing for the day, Miss Swan." The double entendre was not lost on Emma, and she couldn't help smiling into Regina's lips, thinking it was probably the closest thing to a joke that she'd ever heard the woman utter.

The lighthearted moment passed, Regina turning ravenous once again. She guided Emma backwards, wrenching apart clasps and zippers as they went. When the back of her heels hit the bottom of the staircase, Emma carefully lifted her foot, preparing for the slow, tumultuous ascension. Regina, however, seemed to have other plans, pushing Emma's body down onto the stairs, never breaking contact as she crawled onto her jean clad lap.

Startled, Emma looked to Regina, then up to the second floor in silent inquiry.

"Too far," Regina muttered, mashing her lips against Emma's once again before standing abruptly. "Take off those ridiculous boots," she commanded, stepping out of her own heels and working on her pants. Emma didn't even attempt to rebel against the demand, her trembling fingers still managing to undo the laces with rapid, practiced skill.

As soon as the second boot was cast aside, a now very naked Regina immediately hooked her fingers in the waist of Emma's jeans, and panties, pulling them down with such urgency that her pants came off inside out. Emma hadn't even time to recognize her own state of nudity, or appreciate the mayor's, before finding Regina's bare body pressed over her own.

As Regina's hand began to find it's way down and between their bodies, a strange thought occurred to Emma. She grabbed Regina's wrist, reluctantly halting that hand's mintrations.

"Just do me one favor," Emma panted, breathless from both exertion and arousal. Brown eyes flickered impatiently, waiting for an explanation. "No magic." She grimaced slightly at the oddity of her request. "Please?"

Emma bit her lip, hoping Regina would be compliant, just this once. She didn't want to have to explain why, didn't want to try and make this woman understand that she didn't want all this 'fairytales and curses' crap right now. She didn't want magic, she just wanted Regina. Just Regina.

The smirk she received in reply made Emma blush. Regina did not inquire further, but that smile said she already knew something of what the answer might be.

"Indeed, Miss Swan," she obliged, twisting her wrist free and returning to her original mission. "I don't need _magic_ to make you scream."

"Emma," the blonde choked, gasping as Regina reached her destination. "Please. Call me Emma."

"That's _two_ favors, dear," Regina scolded, sounding unusually playful. "Will there be anymore requests? Or shall we just get on with it... _Emma_."

She never thought the sound of her own name could turn her on so much. It must have been the thickness of Regina's voice as she said it, the way she seemed to taste it on her tongue before letting it roll languidly off her lips.

_Kiss me_, Emma was tempted to demand at the call for requests. Deciding the statement sounded too flowery, not to mention cheesy, she left it unspoken and simply lifted her head to claim what she desired.

Regina willing offered up her lips, her hand now moving to prove to Emma _just how well_ she could make her scream. Well enough to make Emma thankful they were the only ones home in the giant mansion. Well enough to make her hope to god that the windows were all shut up tight. Well enough to make her forget everything completely, even if only for a moment, as the world crashed down around her in waves of pure ecstasy.

Never one to be outdone, Emma gathered her wits as best she could to show the mayor she certainly wasn't the only one capable of making someone scream. She was sure the image of Regina writhing in her lap would be burned into the forefront of her mind for the rest of her days, rivaled only by the look of agonizing bliss on her face as she came undone by Emma's hand.

With a satiated moan, Regina finally allowed herself to collapse onto her companion's chest, gasping unevenly into golden locks. Without thinking, Emma wrapped her arms around the lithe body now blanketing her own, surprised when the sentiment was not immediately shunned. Testing the limits of their current position, she ran her palms over the expanse of olive skin beneath them, reveling in just how incredibly _soft_ it actually was. Again, the reaction was unexpected. Regina nuzzled her face deeper into Emma's neck, leaving a sloppy kiss on her collarbone, followed by another placed on her shoulder, before rolling off to the side completely and closing her eyes with a sigh.

Emma missed her immediately. Her softness, her warmth, her weight. She peered at the woman beside her, struck, not for the first time, by how beautiful she was. Emma wished Storybrooke could see this side of Regina. Not the naked, post-sex Regina; but the relaxed, content, open woman who was now laid beside her. They wouldn't though. Emma doubted they would ever be able to see, even if Regina was ever inclined to show them. They wouldn't see past the Evil Queen. Not to mention what they'd likely do if they were to see the two of them together like this.

"Oh, god." Emma shot up and began gathering her clothes as the realization of what she'd just done set in. Even more alarming than the act itself was just how much she had liked it, and the way she felt she would be content to just lay in Regina's arms all through the night. She couldn't feel this way, she wasn't allowed to.

"This can never happen again," Emma vowed, unable to look the other woman in the eye, lest she break her promise to herself.

Regina, who had been still lounging on the steps, unabashedly nude, began to collect her clothing as well, sliding back into her undergarments.

"Is that so?" she asked sardonically.

"We're on opposite sides," Emma reasoned, now halfway dressed, focusing on her fingers while they fumbled with the button on her jeans. "We're supposed to be enemies."

Regina tutted. "And?"

At that, Emma turned and met her gaze, an incredulous expression on her face.

"There are _rules_, Regina! I can't..." she trailed off, shaking her head at herself before pulling on her top.

"You can't what, dear?"

Finally slipping back into her jacket, Emma shoved her fists into the pockets. She looked at Regina helplessly, pleading her not to make her say it, but those brown eyes just challenged her to continue.

"I can't fall for you," she finally lamented.

"I don't recall suggesting that you should," Regina replied with a caustic smirk.

Emma tried not to look too put out by the mayor's callousness. It was better this way, even if she didn't fully buy the act. It was easier to think Regina didn't care at all; easier to let go if there was nothing to hold on to.

"So," Emma shrugged awkwardly. "I guess we agree then?"

Regina just nodded politely. "I suppose we do."

"Okay, then."

Emma made to leave, but instead turned back around, slinking back toward Regina until they were standing face to face. If it was never going to happen again, she wanted this one last moment to remember. She noticed something softer than before in Regina's expression, and soon recognized the look in her eyes as a hopeful one.

Encouraged, she leaned in and pressed their lips together, much more gently this time. The kiss was soft, slow enough to savor every taste, every sensation. Emma's heart fluttered; she felt her resolve breaking, and pulled away before it could shatter completely.

She turned around and left without another word, without ever looking back. Because the truth was that she could fall for Regina, even if she shouldn't, and she feared that perhaps she was already stumbling.


End file.
